The Albany Poetry Workshop Interactive Forum


Forum II : Improbable Tales

Please read the poem and comments below, and then join us in a discussion of this poem by adding your comments. You may wish to comment upon the poem directly, or comment on the other comments.


Cheryl L. Higgins

The Moor-lands Witch

Each bore a burning branch of beech
In silence towards the moor
and knocked while nodding, each to each
On Widow Liston's door.

As Lady Liston looked alarmed
(And would not let them in),
They called out "Coo, we'll not ye harm
Tho' sinner you have been"

So, looked she long through lowered lash
At men who, wary, stood;
Un-tied her trailing apron sash
And let slip back her hood.

A hot and hearty head of hair
Around her face did fall.
She toyed with tendrils (most unfair)
Then on the moon did call.

"They wish a widow was a witch
And so shall bear that shame.
Let thoughtless thinking to them hitch!
Like sheep!  They're all the same!"

No more than musing mention made
Before her oaken door -
She gaped and gasped, for thirty sheep
Were headed 'cross the moor!

November, 1998

Cheryl L. Higgins's questions:

Here is "The Moor-lands Witch", about a woman who surprises herself with her own power.  Rather than "grisley", maybe its lighter and a bit fun.

In this poem, I have attempted some alliteration, repeating a pattern in the first and third lines, which can be picked up in the first stanza. My question  in order to keep to the pattern, I have used archaic phrasing.  Does it all work, and can the story be followed?

Oh, I used the name of "Janet Liston", who was one of those accused of witchcraft in Ireland at the last trial for witches there, in around 1711.  She and 4 other Janets, along with three others, not so wittily named, are the subjects of a slow-coming short story I began called "The Pillory of Cerrik-Fergus".  Janet Liston was not, in real life, a "Lady", but I needed her to be so, here, so I could alliterate alot.


Thank you, all, for your comments on this. They are well thought out, and I have put them in my notes to use when re-working this. Scott, Bill, and Greg, this is great. Thanks again.
Cheryl Higgins <cwhitnah@netmeg.net>
USA - Fri May 28 07:37:41 1999
These are only suggestions, this is how I would write the poem, and my expounding on it means in no way that I'm rewriting the poem, but where the changes are, would be my critiques. I would like to see all of the verbs be present or past tense. Witches bearing burning branches of beech In silence along the moor knocking and nodding, each to each On Widow Liston's door Lady Liston looking alarmed not letting them in, and they calling to her, "Coo, we'll not ye harm Tho' sinner you have been." Looking,longing,lowering lash, At men warily standing, Untying a trailing apron sash, slipping back her hood. Hot and hearty head of hair, around her face falling toying with tendrils, most unfair to the moom calling. "They wish a widow to be a witch, to bear the shame. Let Thoughtless thinking to them hitch. Like sheep. They all the same. No more than musing mention making Before the oaken door- gaping and gasping, for thirty sheep heading across the moor.
greg anderson <gandy@athenet.net>
Oshkosh, wi USA - Sat Dec 19 18:42:36 1998
loved the poem, but in the second stanza after sinner "you" should be "ye" to be consistent. Bill
Bill Killen <bkillen@brevard.net>
USA - Wed Nov 25 15:11:52 1998
Cheryl, Thanks for sending this one. Though the story doesn't seem to derive from a tabloid tale, it is a timely one, in light of the present-day persecutions of women. The trick in a ballad, of course, is not to make your phrasing sound awkward. You've done well with the ballad form here, and I think the story is understandable. I'm a little troubled with "Let thoughtless thinking to them hitch." The word "Let" seems to allow the persecutors their thought. Also, though the moon resonates here with Widow Liston's fate, the line in which you use the image of the moon might be tied in better by using a colon instead of a period at the end of that line, so it appears that the following stanza is to be understood as the words she speaks to the moon.
Scott Reid <scotts@sonic.net>
USA - Sat Nov 21 18:30:17 1998