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3:08 am
can't sleep
lying here thinking calm thoughts
of flowering trees and hot summer days.
i wish sleep would close over my head
like the water that time at the beach,
carrying me out to sea on waves of slumber.
i am landlocked in this bed
trapped amongst a jumble of pillows and sheets
that smother me at every turn
i want to be the captain of my night ship,
barking out orders to my dreams and
turning the wheel of my subconscious.
instead i'm beached on a comforter
and paddling desperately to get back to sea.

Carrie Murphy's Questions:

Does my poem flow sufficiently?

Which words do you think interrupt the flow and/or detract from the meaning of the poem?