IMAGE OF EARTH AND QUILL

Guest Poet Wanda M. Wandas



Cave

Before I entered the cemetery cave
I knocked a fat crow off my shoulder
Inside I found nothing but damp earth
split by a thin muddy stream
a dry wall
scatches on the surface
a hand outlined in red ochre
a spot where a sharp stone made its marks 
with a cutting edge
Emerged from the dark
I lay down on my back to see the light
Two thin crows flew
from atop a concrete cross
and began to peck at my chest


August, 1999


Wanda M. Wandas's Questions:

1. Is the word "cemetery" in the first line necessary or does the reader get the idea that the cave is in a graveyard from the concrete cross in the next to last line?

2. In the eighth line, do I need "a spot where" to maintain the parallel construction or could I omit "a spot where"?  Could the ninth line "with a cutting edge" be deleted?

3. Is a second stanza better than the single stanza at "Emerged. . ."  or would the stanza break affect the continuity of the poem?


Correspond with Wanda M. Wandas at
Pocono80n@aol.com
with your ideas about this poem.



The Albany Poetry Workshop