An early sun set in your eyes 
	A long low moon arose 
To watch the places of your life 
	Where your movements, like vapors 
Caress pathways left by words you spoke 
	Trellises laden with your smiles 
Glistening in prisms of your tears 
	Shrouded in a late evening fog

We meet in this clockless garden 
	When the unneedled compass of my heart 
Finds you waiting near the iron gate 
	Where guardian moonbeams anoint you 
Spreading your scent, softening the darkness 
	That covered me upon your leaving 
And I, awash in you lagoon, glisten 
	Midnight reflections in the only dance we know

Les Blough's Questions:

1. Is the poem too personalized? Would it be better written in the third person rather than the first?
2. Are the images sufficiently disparate?
3. Are the images, phrases and words trite?
4. Any other comments?
Thank you.