Untitled We were supposed to visit art museums today. our hands interlocked you could've explained to me why one piece was better than another or why some of them are blue and the others festively colored. Making our way to the exit the corridor would be bathed in sunlight, and as we became part of the city's constant adrenaline rush I would look at you frequently. Noticing how the blue ring surrounds the brown in the pupil of your eye. Instead I replay our last conversation looping it over and over in my head. Finding places where I could've said something different something to make you feel guilty something to show you what you would miss. something that would give me a small revenge. Unfortunately its not as amusing as visiting art musuems.
Frank Borchetta's Questions:
Hey, I just started writing and unfortunately I'm not very good. Hopefully
someone could give me some feedback.
Is this too cliche or sappy?
Where are the grammar errors?
Should I take lines out? How is the last line?
Does it flow well? Any other comments would be appreciated.