Stand Still For Just a Moment

There never seems to be enough time
To do all the things I want to do,
To say all the things on my mind
And to spend more time with you.
So I'm taking my time and boxing it up
And hiding it in my closet in the back,
So I can hold on to special moments
And recapture the time I lack.
To stop time from advancing to the future
To have that hug and gentle touch.
The feel the breeze and smell the air
To have time for me, I need so much.
I've forgotten who this person is,
A human machine that works and eats
And has no time left to live
And never feels life is quite complete.
In my box there are moments in my childhood
And time for long walks on the beach,
Time for the tide to meet the shore and
Holding those I love forever in my reach.

C. Lawry Brown's Questions:

Does the effect of putting the special things in a box in the back of the closet work?

Does it show that I want to hold those things special and never loose them?

Does the regret for having wasted time and not cherished special moments more come out as much as I would like it to in the poem?

Could I have expressed it in a clearer way, other than putting the special things in a box?

What A Day To Haul!!

The sky so blue, how crisp the air
It's strong smell of salt.
The vessel tossed by each approaching wave
Over each one the sleek bow vaults.
The drone of the inboard engine
The cry of the circling gull,
The breeze grabs the ocean spray
And tosses it o'er the boats hull.
From beneath the swirling foam
Amidst the oncoming white caps,
A harbinger of bodies from he sea
Emerges, a large wooden trap.
The ritual of each measurement
Some kept, some returned to the sea.
The wind comes up, the sea roughens
We turn our vessel to the lee.
The trap swallowed beneath the blue
We venture on our ritual way,
Reaping nature's gifts from the sea
And setting the traps for another day.

C. Lawry Brown's Questions:

I am striving to have the reader visualize a way of life.  Do I take the reader to the deck of a lobster boat successfully?

I want the reader to smell the salt air, hear the gulls and experience the peace of a special way of life.  Do I use enough description or is it over kill?

The Inferno

I awakened to the sound of screams
The air a sea of smoke,
My eyes stinging, my lungs burning
With each breath I take, I choke.
The panic racing through me
Confusion makes it hard to think,
I rolled out of bed with a blanket
Crawling to find the bathroom sink.
I soaked it thoroughly with water
Draped it's cool dampness over me,
Crouched close to the floor
The thickening smoke makes it hard to see.
The screams have reduced to sobs
I must find Annie's room.
Lord, please release us safely
From within this fiery tomb.
I reached her open doorway
To my relief I saw not flame.
Inside I heard her whimpers
She cried out when I called her name.
My immediate goal was to find her
We were now faced with another fear,
We were alive and together
But would me make it out of here.
Crazy thoughts go through your head
Of many things you should have done,
We should have practiced for this,
An escape route, but which one.
I closed the entrance to the room
Stuffing a blanket under the door,
Suddenly I realized so close
I could hear the inferno's roar.
Quickly I wrapped us in the blanket
Crouched feeling the wall for glass,
Finding the window, I smashed it
In rushed a burst of fresh air alas.
I heard a voice cry, "There they are"
From the ground down below.
Swiftly there came a man and a ladder.
The carried us through the window.
How safe I felt in their arms
How wonderful the cool, sweet air,
How precious this marvelous life
Yet how fragile, we all need beware.

C. Lawry Brown's Questions:

I want the reader to experience first hand the fear and panic of waking up in a burning house.  To I depict the desperation and confusion well enough or should I have added a bit more panic?  Do I sound to calm to actually be in a burning house looking for my child in the smoke?  If so how could have I got my fear and panic across better?