Swim	

Sunny summer afternoons
I would strip to my skin
And squish my toes
Through the gray flats in
The cove behind my house.
The tide crept unsuspecting,
Inching closer as overhead
The gull was detecting
Something odd about me.
The air was heavy as liquid.
The insects chirped loud
And behind a rock hid
A mouse watching.
The sun caressed my skin
As the tide rose higher
I turned and dove in.
The icy cold pierced my being
With a thousand pins
Refreshing every part of me.
I draped myself in a towel wind.

C.Lawry Brown's Questions:

I am trying for a different effect here.  As per suggestions, I am trying to use a more slant rhyme than a perfect one.  I am trying to achieve it here.  I also want this to be a poem of senses, feel, smell, etc.  Do I achieve what I set out to do?  Is my rhyme slant enough or is it still too close?  I welcome all your comments.  Thank You.