I Gazed a While I gazed a while into the glassy depths to spy the wingless flight of fish. Their quiet home in full view; And me nature's intruder. They looked like lost ghosts suspended there in soothing stillness; Waiting for Moonlight to aid their flight; And me standing in their sky. So sadly solemn is their silent endeavor, and their endless reflections cast. As though they were struggling with grief; And me a senseless aberration. They gather there with mysterious relief, a wise restraint for this wary band. As though their refuge could not be detected; And me drowning in air. I watched them depart in turbulence with their necessary apprehensions; Summoned to their further worries; And me the lone survivor.
Peter Fifield's Questions:
Is this poem strong enough in description?
What does it lack for the reader?
Please be honest in assessment.