Father's Day I wait for him to call. week after week, my importance in his hands. I dial his number out of obligation prepared for the attack. Awaiting the shark doesnít lessen the bite. ďAre your fingers broken?Ē Left defenseless. We arrange to meet. He pretends Not to notice How much weight Iíve gained While I pretend not to Need my daddy.
Caryn Fogel's Questions:
1)† Would 'my importance in his hands' work better if I used the word
'worth' or 'value' or 'self-esteem'?† Is it clear that this is what I'm
saying - that I wait for him to call to show how much I mean to him?
2)† Does the reader know what is meant by 'are your fingers broken'?† This is the sarcasm the father lays on the daughter for not calling (sooner).† Is this clear, or is another line necessary here?
3)† I had thought about not having 'father' in the title, and leaving it a surprise for the end, but I thought it may confuse the reader, not knowing who the players are.† Any other title suggestions are welcomed.