IMAGE OF EARTH AND QUILL

Guest Poet Caryn Fogel



Father's Day

I wait for him to call.
week after week,
my importance in his hands.

I dial his number
out of obligation
prepared for the attack.

Awaiting the shark
doesn’t lessen the bite.
“Are your fingers broken?”
Left defenseless.

We arrange to meet.
He pretends
Not to notice
How much weight I’ve gained
While I pretend not to
Need my daddy.


December, 1999


Caryn Fogel's Questions:

1)  Would 'my importance in his hands' work better if I used the word 'worth' or 'value' or 'self-esteem'?  Is it clear that this is what I'm saying - that I wait for him to call to show how much I mean to him?

2)  Does the reader know what is meant by 'are your fingers broken'?  This is the sarcasm the father lays on the daughter for not calling (sooner).  Is this clear, or is another line necessary here?

3)  I had thought about not having 'father' in the title, and leaving it a surprise for the end, but I thought it may confuse the reader, not knowing who the players are.  Any other title suggestions are welcomed.

Thank you.






The Albany Poetry Workshop