Guest Poet Paula Grenside

A Good Construction 
                        ( after Y. Amichai)

They drilled leaks,
axed the mailmast,
watched us sink 
with the determination of saboteurs
blinder than a cyclone.

They took the boat apart,
board by board 
till the hull was a hole,
the sails, ragged wings,
with the violence of hurricanes
bursting blasts of hate.

And we were such a good construction.
A sailing boat built from a man,
a woman and love shrouds.
We floated in our sea,
studied the course to hold.
We even sailed a while.

January, 2000

Paula Grenside's Questions:

Is the "they" too obscure?

As it doesn't refer to specific people, but people in general, I thought it better to use the pronoun. Does the metaphor result effective?

The Albany Poetry Workshop