Amy Kumm's Questions:

I am having a very difficult time with the ending, but cannot pinpoint what
exactly doesn't work. What do you think I could add (remove) to make it
stronger?

I am wondering about the sound of the piece when read aloud? What do you
think I could do to make it flow better?

How does it appear visually? How can I break it up to eliminate the row of
I's going down the page?

Any and all comments appreciated.


I recently discovered your web page and am excited to find so many excellent poets giving such wonderful comments. I am submitting a poem of my own that I feel needs major revision. This is intended to be presented to my groom on our wedding day, so I'm sure you can understand my nervousness surrounding it. I generally write with a much more dramatic/ usually angry voice, so I'm having a hard time with this venture.