Meredith

As if the stars had danced around your name 
from the instant birth took shape in you 
and singing on your tongue 
and in the very back of your throat 
is how life is given its flavour. 
It opens up a giant 
empty boundary 
and lets it fly 
free with the 
drowning smooth rhythm. 
The syllables concentrate themselves 
in that symphony in your stomach-- 
releasing every breath from me 
and taking it up 
into the windy nothingness 
until every ounce of cold flesh 
upon my very being 
is soft again with life 
and loosed from that 
dampness 
of thawing, melting skin. 
I am left with the ringing 
of the magic of you. 
It fills me 
and forces living into me 
and makes me realize the limitless expanse 
of you 
in your methods 
and I want only to be taken up 
by those ringing, rounded words 
and float forever in the solid exhileration 
of your voice.

Erin Meister 's Questions:

Is the language too out of control? I mean, do you have any idea of what I'm saying? Because I have this tendency of losing the central idea because I focus on the words too much. I mean, of course I know what's going on, but I want to make sure that other people can too. (this is for my best friend--that's who Meredith is) See, I'm kind of taking this class and I'm studying the abstractness of expression and I have to know if this is at all the style that I should be going for. I tend to be too hard a judge on myself, so I'd appreciate other people's comments. Thanks much!