Meredith As if the stars had danced around your name from the instant birth took shape in you and singing on your tongue and in the very back of your throat is how life is given its flavour. It opens up a giant empty boundary and lets it fly free with the drowning smooth rhythm. The syllables concentrate themselves in that symphony in your stomach-- releasing every breath from me and taking it up into the windy nothingness until every ounce of cold flesh upon my very being is soft again with life and loosed from that dampness of thawing, melting skin. I am left with the ringing of the magic of you. It fills me and forces living into me and makes me realize the limitless expanse of you in your methods and I want only to be taken up by those ringing, rounded words and float forever in the solid exhileration of your voice.
Erin Meister 's Questions:
Is the language too out of control? I mean, do you have any idea of what I'm saying? Because I have this tendency of losing the central idea because I focus on the words too much. I mean, of course I know what's going on, but I want to make sure that other people can too. (this is for my best friend--that's who Meredith is) See, I'm kind of taking this class and I'm studying the abstractness of expression and I have to know if this is at all the style that I should be going for.
I tend to be too hard a judge on myself, so I'd appreciate other people's comments. Thanks much!