The Buried Clown Under a sheet of tin in the small old machine shed he never used anymore I found that porcelain clown buried in the brown dirt. Its smooth white face smiled, confused at the sun or at me. It leaned back, pointed cap curled toward its forehead, palms up like it were surrendering or making an offering of peace. I wondered what memory had broken its legs off at the knees. Without them, somewhere between dance and repose it sat a curious piece of unearthed glass. There so long it didn’t belong to anyone or anything but the ground and the worms. Now I wonder what memory lost that bewildered jester. What forgotten stump it sits on or in what box left in the upstairs closet when we moved. What dirt, waiting to be brushed away, does that old glass clown rest under now?
Adam Rau's Questions:
I am most concerned with cadence and rhythm. When read aloud does it
flow well?
I was also wondering about clarity and interest. Is the subject matter
remote or is it a readable piece?
Thank you
The Pastry Drawer I remember, after fifty-two cards of Concentration with dad on the floor of the living room, I got lost in the big drawer on the far side of great-grandmas kitchen. It was dark, so I wandered. When I grew hungry I ate her homemade cookies and pastries that nothing tastes like anymore. Eventually, I found my way out through a crock in the basement that still smelled like sauerkraut, Even though it had been years since she made it.
Adam Rau's Questions:
I fear that this is a bit choppy. That there are too many stops and
starts in such a short piece. Is this the case?
Also, is the flight of fancy believable from the point of view presented
here?
Lastly, is it obvious that this is a child's remembrance?