This Coat The hanger smiles a nonchalent elegance When this coat lolls crookedly on it. There's a mystery in the making When even hangers have style. A captivating lack of detail Confounds description, and Fumbling pointers at collar, Sleeves, turned-back cuffs, And four BIG buttons down the front Miss the essence of promise In this Shaker plainess. The relaxed drape of cloth Quietly offers -- what? No more than itself, Still, it points beyond. Short of the knee, with slash pockets, Its collar perfect up or down, Hovering around khaki and olive-brown. Nuanced with implications This recessive elegance Confounds the pen But delights both eye and skin Bringing ease. If you saw, would you apprehend The source of this bestowed grace? Perhaps not. But, like me, you'd know The world was better for its making.
Gillian B Savage's Questions:
Overall, I think that this feels 'lumpy' and lacks strong coherence.
There are shifts in tone and focus that could be smoother. How do I do
Too many long words? 'confound' and 'apprehend' seem too elaborate, but they carry the meaning I want.