Improbable Tales Poem
D. Lee Kratz
Reporters scramble for the scoop,
photographers at hand.
Is this real or elephant poop
laid on gullible land?
The circus tents are rising fast,
the barkers know the tune.
Wide-eyed patrons crowd at last
to read a tabloidís boon.
Lizard mom on gnarled leg
Ole dad was just a man
Baby broke from a tiny egg
to start a brand new clan.
Gator-boy winks back at you
in tab-rag gotcha style.
I wonder if this storyís true
or just another pile?
Must I read the words I see?
P.T. would surely smile
and find that sucker would be me
who paid to read this bile.
This gator boy will fade away
once all the fervor dies.
Next week another expose
will catch the passerby.
D. Lee Kratz's questions:
In the fifth stanza first line...does the meter work as it is one syllable
off? Also the last line of the piece is one syllable off...any suggestions?
Lliked it DLK. light pleasant and remote and flows like water.
norway - Sun May 31 09:11:00 1998
Interesting, and has a good, fast rhythm, while the word choice keeps your eyes moving quickly but still absorbing the lines.
USA - Thu Apr 30 20:21:31 1998
I agree - don't change the line "Must I read the words I see?". I also love "the tab-rag gotcha style". You certainly got this assignment down pat. Love your humor !
USA - Tue Feb 3 19:42:28 1998
Re: your request for ideas to add a syllable to the last line-- change "passerby" to "passersby". The addition of the "s" adds a little more length to the word and offers a decent prelude to the final syllable "by".
Canada - Thu Oct 2 09:48:02 1997
Monkey shine. Bliz. Ya got me cowboy/ Use capture instead of catch in the last line. All the rhyme is fine with me. The less it sounds like rhyme, the better. It could even be slanted to distract from the sing song. Writing through the rhyme always helps. You've done that. (5th stanza) Try "Must I reread the words I see". I dig "P.T. would surely smile". Rock of title. It's got teeth like the poem. The tiny egg line -- could use a shine one it/ The meter might be stronger, if it read "the baby broke from tiny egg" Anyway the yoke is on you partner. The poem is a real pie in the face. Very strong. And this gator-boy is winking and smiling. Even the question as a closure is solid. Thanks Dilly for another good one. Show off.
Auburn, Ca USA - Tue Sep 16 13:12:36 1997
Hi Lee, Pretty kinky theme. And just like a tabloid. I wouldn't care about the syllables as long as the beats are there - and they are. I find 'gullible land' and 'tabloid's boon' a bit forced to make things rhyme. I wonder if 'a tiny egg' changed to just 'tiny egg' would go better with 'gnarled leg' since it doesn't use an article? Aside from those nits I think it's a fun piece that says it well. Best, Josh.
Kitchener, On Canada - Thu Jul 3 07:50:56 1997