Guest Poet Eli Burton
this evening, just look up to the sky
see how diligently and swift it moves
so graceful, dissimilar to below
she portrays the image of peacemaker
looking as though she knows not of evil
deceptive, for there is a storm brewing
tidal waves and hurricanes are nearing
our distress call drowned out by the beauty
mother nature's showing her dominance
content on disconfiguring our lives
luring us in like a venus flytrap
but she is just putting us in our place
we're not as strong as we tend to perceive
testing her: akin to russian roulette
her arsenal of harsh, tormenting winds
mark the end for the foolish challenger
but tonight, look heavenward at her charm
and be enveloped in her spectacle
Eli Burton's questions:
Hi, my name's Eli Burton and I'm 16 years old and i'm from Oklahoma.
I wrote this poem in the reflection of other poems that i've seen written by other kid's my age that have been finalists in certain contests here in the midwest. this is not particularly my cup of tea and i know you're all probably going to say "just right from the heart" but i'm just wondering, why is a poem like this worthy of winning a poetry contest?
i've written other poems that i've thought were much better, but this style seems more along the lines of what the judges look for. I'm not saying this is any good, but poems at least somewhat similar to this type seem to have a spot in the hearts of all the judges. also, after the rough draft, i used but little revision on this poem, so what do you all think this poem is lacking? or what needs to be taken out or fixed?
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